Intermezzo XII - Underwear Drawers

Reviewer's Comment (Rue - Official Intermezzo Reviewer)

First off, yes, you did read the name right. The title of this intermezzo is "Underwear Drawers." On with the review...
Who remembers the girl pretending to be Faelnon's daughter from another existence? Everyone? Good. And who remembers that he has this daughter with Ariea? Everyone? Good. And who remembers what happened when everyone told Shandor? No one? Good!
In this short 'mezzo, Shandor meets Faelnon's daughter, and discovers how she came to be (heh heh). The secret about how she entered this universe is also revealed.
This intermezzo, although short, is quite funny.


Rue's Rating:
Three-and-a-half manly faints out of five.

Intermezzo

Shandor returned to his room, it was a rather nondescript day, so he thought he would go read a book. Only, someone was waiting for him when he got there. The woman who claimed to be Faelnon’s daughter, even though he didn’t have a daughter. ‘Er… hey there.’ Shandor said, slowly closing the door.

The woman stood up, ‘Now now now! Don’t go mental on me, I’m not who you might think I am.’

‘Who might I think you might are?’ Shandor frowned and thought that sentence over.

‘Uncle, you are a very, very stupid man.’ She stated.

‘Who are you?’ Shandor said, frowning in confusion, slight desperation in his tone.

‘Oh, I’m Rilnae, I can’t believe Faelnon hasn’t mentioned me.’

‘You don’t exist!’ Shandor said disbelievingly.

‘Shush, you’ll make other people think you are talking to yourself. Which, granted, isn’t that big a deal.’

She paused while Shandor began, ‘Hey!’
She cut him off, saying, ‘Well, I’m not who you don’t think I am. Whoa, it’s infectious. Freaky. People thought I was like... baby dragon or something. But I’m not! I’m really me. I was pulled from... look, I don’t really get how this works. Something Esal made, an orb thingy, used to contact people. It screwed up everything, dragged me out of the universe that didn’t exist into the one that did. From then on, I only had enough power in this dimension to contact those who are sleeping. But the kiddo can contact people in the day as me and its all really confusing and all I really want is a cup of cocoa, but guess what?’ She waved her arms in annoyance, ‘Can’t drink. Can’t touch. I’m non-kar-pool. Or something.’

‘Non-corporeal?’ Shandor suggested.

She frowned for a moment, then said, ‘Oh, corporeal. Well, whatever; I can’t touch stuff.’

‘Sleep... how can I see you? Oh gods... whoever writes this crap should die!’ Shandor groaned, staring up at the ceiling.

‘You’re a charming person.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Oh before we get into the why’s, would you mind leaving all your drawers open? I mean, I can’t exactly poke around in them if I can’t touch them, and going through the wood is just like… weird. Oh, and as far as I can tell, it was ‘cause of that spell you did to bring mom back.’

‘Mom?’

Rilnae went wide-eyed, ‘Oh... no-one mentioned that?’

‘Mom?! And Faelnon’s da... oh,’ Shandor held his head in one hand and began to sway, ‘But… Ariea and Fael… ooohhhh.’ The swaying intensified.

‘Calm down, calm, you weren’t around-‘ Shandor nearly tumbled over ‘- I mean you didn’t exist, in that universe.’

‘But… they can’t… they… they…’

Rilnae gave up and smiled, counting down with her fingers before using the last one to trace Shandor’s movement, ‘Three, two, one… and he’s on the floor!’

And indeed, Shandor completely taken out of the blue, shocked and bedazzled fainted in a manly style on the ground.

Rilnae looked about the room, ‘Well, I would let the others know, but, y’know, can’t talk to them. So… back to the underwear drawer.’