Chapter I - All's Well That Ended Badly

Reviewer's Comment (Mirar)

Hehe, its great Colm XD It certainly is a 'fall from grace' as you so nicely put it. I think our retard characters prove that.


Reviewer's Comment (Rue)



Welcome to the Quest IV - Fall From Grace's first chapter.

When we last saw our strange band of freaky heroes, they were jumping through a big swirly vortex to their deaths because Shandor told them to. He just has that manner. In chapter one, we can see that not much has changed. We quickly find out, however, that the portal didn't like any of them, and so it spits them out somewhere where it hopes that they will be hopelessly lost.

Faelnon, being dead and all, isn't there.
Foilae doesn't return for a repeat performance either, being blown to smithereens and whatnot.

However, even without the return of the cripple and the 'He's-Gay-He's-Not-He's-Gay-He's-Not" elf, FFG is still just as hilarious coming from Colm's mind as it was from ours.




Chapter I – All's Well That Ended Badly.



“Spend all your life waiting,

For that second chance,

For a break that would make it okay”

~ Sarah McLachlan, ‘Angel’



‘I didn’t feel right, lying to him.’ She stated sadly, looking at her friend.

‘We had to tell him that, I mean, we didn’t have the answers.’ Her friend replied in a comforting tone.

‘But couldn’t we have just told him that?’

‘That would’ve gone great: “Hiya Shandor, could you go jump into a portal for us? We’re not sure what it’ll do, but ah, it will be a laugh.”.’ Rilnae rolled her eyes.

Ariea sighed, ‘The world didn’t end though, so I guess we did the right thing.’

‘Yeah...’

‘I’m sorry, Rilnae,’ Ariea began, ‘Here I am going on about my problems when you lost your father.’

‘My father’s been dead since I saw him die in A’lure. The Faelnon we saw die that day was him, but it wasn’t, y’know?’

Ariea nodded, ‘Yeah. I can’t believe they are all gone.’

‘Ariea, I’m sure wherever they are, they are perfectly safe.’



There was a scream. Well, it wasn’t so much a scream and a small screech of surprise. This could be expected when one falls a few metres onto a rough ground. Of course, if he should tell this story to anyone else, the screech will most definitely be left out.

Varadrion groaned and sat up, surveying the area. It was a nice day, blue skies. Where he was, it was quite nice too, fields and forests, yellows and greens. There was a dominating hill in the distance, covered in a green blanket. Amongst the trees on the hill was a baked clay-coloured tower, there were a few smaller buildings around it. Good, a town. Hopefully they speak common. Varadrion thought. He groaned miserably as he got to his feet, legs aching. ‘What happened?’ he wondered aloud. He was rather sure he was going to die when he hit the portal.



Everything was a distorted mass of swirling energy and colours. There was crackling lighting that whipped around the area. Granted, she had never travelled across dimensions before, but she couldn’t imagine it being like this. It was all so confusing, the noise was deafening, but she couldn’t work out what it was. It sounded vaguely like everything that had ever been said squeezed into one noise. Then she just felt herself being pulled and dragged away from where she started. Then again, she couldn’t really be sure of that as she didn’t know where she started. Then there was an odd whooshing sound and she fell out of the sky onto a field. The sky was over cast and miserable.



Varadrion shuffled towards the town, noting that he hadn’t had anything to eat or drink in... how long had it been? He couldn’t place how long he was in that dimensional ether – if that is what you could call it. He gave a groan and rubbed his eyes, even thinking about it gave him a headache. He thought about his surroundings, they looked like his world. Maybe the portal – or the ether or the...- he groaned and rubbed his eyes again – the portal threw him out somewhere else on the world. That was good, it meant that the world didn’t end. Pleased with this fact, he continued onwards towards the tower and the village, which, he noted, now had several wisps of white smoking pouring from some of the chimneys.

A few minutes later, his trek was stopped by a rock landing a metre ahead of him. As it was traditional, to his knowledge, that rocks didn’t fall from the sky (although, apparently, elves did), he looked about for the person who threw it. He spotted him stumbling out from behind a tree looking worse for wear. His clothes were dirty and tattered, he looked surprisingly weary. His face, however, was still the same.

‘Santhorpe!’ Varadrion shouted happily, swiftly moving himself to the human.

Santhorpe smiled weakly and looked at Varadrion.

Varadrion looked at Santhorpe and couldn’t help but wonder aloud, ‘Hope could you get so dirty in such a short time?’

Santhorpe looked incredulously at him, ‘Short time? I’ve been here two months!’

‘Two months? That’s impossible, I just got here half an hour ago.’

‘I fell out of the sky two months ago.’ Santhorpe stated matter-of-factly.

‘That’s impossible,’ Varadrion repeated, ‘I watched you go into the portal, I was only a few minutes behind you.’

‘Something odd is going on.’ Santhorpe said.

There were no objections to this comment.

‘Did you go trying to the town?’

‘Town?’ Santhorpe asked, curiously.

Varadrion cocked an eyebrow, turned pedantically and pointed sharply at the tower.

‘Oh... I didn’t see that.’

‘How could you not see it? It’s right there.’

‘It wasn’t there when I got here...’ Santhorpe mumbled.

‘We’ll head there tomorrow, I’m too tired now. Do you have a camp?’ Varadrion asked.

‘Yeah, yeah, this way.’ Santhorpe nodded and shuffled towards a small clump of trees, clearly more tired than Varadrion.



The next day, they did not head to town. In a complete re-verse of the weather, black, low clouds had covered everything in a veil.

Varadrion’s third day brought a slightly less dramatic change in the weather, the black clouds mostly dissipated leaving only grey. A miserable grey at that. An unwavering silence had set in between the two. They didn’t really have much to discuss. They hadn’t really spoken that much before they ‘died’.

Suddenly, around midday, Varadrion burst out, ‘Let’s go to the town.’

Santhorpe looked at him sharply as if this idea had never been mentioned before, getting to his feet, he mumbled, ‘Yeah, okay.’ Santhorpe looked towards the tower and thought over the real reason he hadn’t gone – this was, quite possibly, another dimension, full of who knows what – what if they were fond of the occasional human fried in red wine?

After a few minutes of trekking there was a rather sudden surprise. The two had not spoken since leaving the camp, but there was no surprise there, the real surprise was a figure about a hundred metres ahead of them heading towards town. Varadrion paused instantly. Santhorpe looked hesitantly at Varadrion, then at the back of the figure, ‘Should we call out?’

‘I don’t know, it could be hostile.’

Santhorpe wished Shandor was near to call at the creature. Imminent death didn’t seem to bother Shandor, he’d do great.

‘Er... Hello!’ Varadrion finally shouted.

The figure paused, slowly, it turned to face them. The creature was not some hideous demon or pixie. It was Rue. ‘Hi guys!’ she beamed at the two.

Santhorpe and Varadrion exchanged glances before rushing to greet Rue. ‘You’re alive!’ Santhorpe yipped.

Varadrion nodded in agreement, ‘You are! I thought the trolls got you.’

‘No, I got through to... um... where are we?’

‘We don’t know.’

‘Where are the rest?’

‘We don’t know.’

‘Um... Okay. How come you are so dirty?’

‘We have been here *three* days, y’know.’ Varadrion grumbled.

‘Ahem, two months and three days.’

‘Two months... but that’s-‘

‘Impossible, we know.’

‘I’m glad. Anything else impossible going on?’

Varadrion shrugged, ‘No, we’re going to investigate that town.’

‘It took you three days-‘

‘Ahem,’

‘Right, right, two months and three days to realise to go to the town?’ Rue quizzed.

‘Lets just get going.’ Varadrion grumbled, taking off towards the town. Santhorpe looked and Rue and smiled inanely before following Varadrion. Rue cocked an eyebrow, shrugged, then followed.



‘Two hours. It didn’t seem that far away.’ Rue complained, watching a baby bird trying to fly. They were on the outskirts of the town. It had taken them, as Rue may have mentioned, two hours to get them there. She looked at the clay coloured housing, no-one was nearby. A few minutes later, they had reached the nearest house. Rue snuck around and peaked around a corner – no-one. The trio stepped onto the street Rue had looked out.

‘I don’t like this.’ Varadrion stated, looking at the closed doors and the windows – covered by shutters.

‘You don’t like anything.’ Rue decided aloud.

Varadrion just glared at her briefly before returning his eye to the houses.

‘Maybe they’re at the market?’ Santhorpe suggested hopefully.

‘Maybe there’s no-one alive.’ Varadrion grumbled quietly.

‘Well maybe they are just frightened of strangers, presuming they aren’t at the market.’

Santhorpe looked at Rue, it was a good explanation, ‘Hello,’ he called, ‘Hello? Is anyone he-‘

One down. Unfortunately for Santhorpe, he had just been hit on the head by a rock – which provided more evidence that rocks did indeed fall from the sky.

As Rue turned to see why Santhorpe had stopped talking, she suddenly stopped moving. A second rock.

The sky was much more friendly to Varadrion – a bucket landed on his head before something very large and blunt struck the bucket.



Mihndrid peaked out across the street. Lesharn shuffled uncomfortably behind her waiting for her to report. ‘They got Rue, Varadrion and Santhorpe.’

Lesharn was giddy, three more people weren’t dead. His giddiness died instantly as he remembered that they had just been captured. He rubbed his head sympathetically. ‘But they’ll get the same treatment as us, right?’

‘Probably,’ Mihndrid replied, ‘A few strikes with a stick, make sure you aren’t the spawn of the devil and off you go.’

Kalypse knelt down behind the two, ‘Cyria and Silvan found him.’

Mihndrid turned to the elf, ‘Great, we’ll go get him after those three are released.’

‘I do wonder,’ Lesharn muttered thoughtfully, ‘Was it really necessary for them to hit us, or was it just a bit of a game for them?’

‘At least you got your lute back.’ Kalypse smiled.

‘Don’t remind me. My violin got trampled.’ Mihndrid sighed sadly.

‘You still have your flute.’ Lesharn smiled, trying to look on the cheerful side.

‘I got hit with it...’ Mihndrid replied.

‘Well, I didn’t expect that one to happen.’ Lesharn shrugged, turned and moved away from the street, munching an apple he had dug out of his pocket.

Mihndrid and Kalypse followed. Lesharn, in between munches, was thinking aloud, ‘That makes all of us, doesn’t it? The ones that... well... got there.’ he went suddenly silent thinking about those unlucky enough to not reach the portal.

‘Come on,’ Kalypse said, ‘those three will be out soon, we should be there.’



‘Well done, Ka’eil.’ he grinned broadly, ‘Now, leave us.’

Ka’eil nodded silently, stood up and nearly glided from the throne room, his long dark red cloak (with gold fringes) flowing behind.

The Master turned to his Second, ‘Report.’

‘Excellent, Master, I’ve never seen a killer like him. For ten days he hunted his assignment, with no rest – deep into the Badlands. When they finally did surrender, he granted them no mercy.

‘Brilliant,’ the Master smiled, ‘I’ve always sensed a great darkness in him. He will make one of our finest killers.’



She stumbled deliriously. Her head throbbed and was, in general, immensely painful. A door opened, leading to a series of steps onto the ground. The miserable grey sky was extremely bright to her.

‘Rue!’ Lesharn shouted, grinning from ear to ear.

The sudden noise alone nearly threw her off balance. Suddenly, she was being helped down the steps by two figures, one male, one female. Her vision was too blurred to work out who they were.

‘Will she be alright?’ Lesharn asked, hovering over her, face showing his concern.

‘She’ll be okay.’ the female said, ‘Silvan, Kalypse, get the other two.’

The male nodded, as the two moved away from Rue.

Rue, at this point, attempted to say something, and failed.

Varadrion wasn’t as lucky as Rue, it seemed, he just fell over and rolled down the steps before Silvan and Kalypse could get to him. Shrugging, they go to get Santhorpe before he suffered a similar fate. Lesharn zipped out of Rue’s vision over to Varadrion. Alril looked at Varadrion and grimaced.

Cyria appeared over Rue, and handed something to Shivayon, ‘Apparently these are meant to help.’

Shiva nodded, ‘Thanks.’ she turned to Rue, ‘Rue? Can you hear me?’

Rue gave a slight movement that could be interpreted however the others wished.

‘Okay, Rue, I need you to eat this and you’ll be okay.’

Rue munched the two leaves and found her vision clearing, but her head still throbbing, ‘Ow.’ she reported.

Cyria stood next to her, ‘It’s okay, the town is rather xenophobic at first, they capture unfamiliar figures, make sure they aren’t some great evil, then you are free to roam the town.’

‘Cyria?’

‘Yes, Rue?’

‘Can we just stick to one syllable words?’

‘Okay.’



At least an hour passed before the three could walk again. Most of the group were standing at the steps beside them, and many of them could not stop asking questions, “Did we do it?” – that was a favourite. “Is there any cake?” – that wasn’t directed at the three, but still the favourite of a little Halfling.

Rue remembered the battle before she reached the portal. It had only occurred to her now that she had been struck several times by blades, she looked at her arms – no wounds. Shaking her head in slight bewilderment, she turned to the last person to ask a question, ‘I think we did it. The portal was very small when I reached it.’

‘But not everyone is here.’ Silvan said, slightly panicked. He still didn’t realise – or didn’t want to realise – that he had seen his friend cut down during the battle.

‘Maybe they are safe, back home.’ Faindil suggested.

‘I did see Dytalorien somewhere there.’ Rue said, ‘He was still okay.’

‘Lucky him.’

Santhorpe, who had been silently sitting on one of the stone steps, spoke up, ‘So... where are we?’

‘Different continent.’

‘Another dimension.’

‘Parallel universe.’

‘Lost.’

‘Right... so where are we?’ Santhorpe asked again.

Mihndrid stopped the others from repeating their answers, ‘We don’t quite know. We entered a portal, so, we probably got flung out in some other dimension.’

‘But they speak common here!’

‘Maybe more than one dimension does...’

‘Oh yeah, but they look like humans, this is meant to be “another dimension”.’

‘Exactly, we got shot out on the other side of Earth, problem solved.’

‘Or a parallel dimension!’

‘I’m still not clear on why we had to go into the portal.’ Silvan mumbled, trying to stop another debate. He had been here four months, perhaps, and was rather fed up.

‘Yeah, it was sort of a follow-the-leader thing.’ Rue stated.

‘Well, there’s one person who can tell us why, we’ve located him. Are you feeling okay to go see him?’

Rue nodded as Varadrion did likewise, ‘Sure.’



A couple of minutes later the newly reunited group was standing outside a rather nondescript house on a rather nondescript street. ‘Are you sure this is where he is?’ Lesharn asked.

Silvan nodded, ‘That’s what they told us.’

‘How was he so hard to track down?’

‘Fake names.’

‘Ah.’

A few moments of silence passed.

‘Is one of us going to knock on the door?’ Mihndrid asked.

‘Thanks for volunteering.’ Shiva smiled, having learnt some tricks from Foilae and Faelnon.

Mihndrid rolled her eyes as she walked up to the plain door and rapped gently. A short, plump middle-aged woman opened the door a second later. Her soft auburn hair was gracefully changing to a gentle grey, and she her eyes smiled at the group from behind a small pair of glasses.

‘Oh... er, hi there!’ Mihndrid said quickly, ‘Is um... Shandor home?’

The woman smiled and nodded, ‘Come this way, you’re his only visitors this week.’

Shivayon mumbled, ‘As sociable as ever...’

Shivayon, Mihndrid, Kalypse and Silvan were the only ones to enter. They followed the lady down the hall until she paused at a door, ‘Okay, here we are. Don’t worry if he doesn’t talk. He has hardly spoken since we found him. Speaks in his dreams though, something about a lady abandoning him.’

Shivayon nodded slowly and reached out to turn the handle. The door swung open to a cavernous room with very few items of furniture. The walls were white, the ceiling too, the floor was a pale maple. He was there. Shandor sat in the middle, back to the door, silent in meditation.

Shivayon crept forward, Mihndrid hovered around the doorway, Silvan took a step back and Kalypse followed Shivayon. Shandor made no motion that they were there.

‘Er... Shandor?’ Shivayon said quietly, crouching down to his side.

Shandor’s head snapped up for a moment, he shook his head and resumed his stance.

The polite lady shut the door and shuffled off to offer tea to the group outside.

‘Shandor?’ Kalypse said.

‘Go away.’ Shandor stated calmly.

Shivayon nearly jumped out of skin – she was just about to poke him -, she stuttered, ‘You’re speaking? Well... good.’

‘Go away.’ Shandor repeated.

The overwhelming temptation then came. The temptation that everyone who meets Shandor gets. The temptation to smack him over the head. ‘Shandor,’ Shivayon began in a non-violent way, ‘Why are you telling us to go away?’

‘Because you aren’t real.’ Shandor replied matter-of-factly.

‘We... aren’t?’ Silvan squeaked, looking at the others, then himself.

‘Of course you aren’t. We fell into the portal and died. That’s what she told me. She did too. But I don’t understand why she lied.’

‘Too many pronouns there, who’s she?’

‘Ariea.’

‘Oooo-kay. Then, who’s… er… She?’

‘Rilnae?’

‘And who’s she?’

‘Faelnon’s daughter.’

‘Faelnon doesn’t have a daughter.’

‘Of course not. Faelnon’s daughter actually comes from a universe where I don’t exist, but it is she who really doesn’t exist. And law of probability dictates that if both myself and Rilnae have been non-existent at some point, then it is your turn to be figments of my deluded imagination; it’s only fair.’

‘But... of course?’

Then, an oddly suitable event happened. This event, like most events preceding, was utterly bizarre and unexplainable, adding suspicion that the author really doesn’t know what he is doing. This event, was a female elf appearing a few feet away from Shandor, marching up to him, kneeling down and slapping him.

‘Come off it,’ Rilnae grumbled.

Mihndrid, Kalypse, Silvan and Shivayon were all focusing on this stranger. Kalypse recognised her from the time she appeared to her (but not really she, an evil entity, the Child, appearing in her form. And more evidence is added).

Rilnae gave a cursory glance at everyone. Then she realised she actually managed to hit Shandor. Oh, and everyone was staring at her.

‘Um... who are you?’ Mihndrid asked.

‘Rilnae.’

A wave of ‘Oh...’ passed between the four. Then, ‘Huh?’

‘You can see me? Neat.’

‘I’ve always been able to see you,’ Shandor complained, rubbing his cheek bitterly.

‘You deserved that, you’ve been moping around here for a year while I waited for all your friends to come.’

The wave of ‘Huh?’ was still strongly in place.

‘Right... I should probably explain everything.’ Rilnae commented, she turned to Mihndrid and said, ‘Er... I know your name... give me a second...’ a few more seconds passed, she turned quickly to Silvan and said, ‘Silvan, could you go fetch the rest of the group please?’

Silvan nodded dumbly and left the room.

There was a long stretch of silence, Shandor still in the same stance, the others looking at Rilnae and Rilnae about to slap Shandor. ‘This is comfortable...’ Shivayon muttered.

Before anyone could reply, nod, or just remain silent, Silvan re-entered and behind him, the rest of the group filed in. Shandor stood up and looked at them, then at Rilnae, sighing theatrically.

‘Okay, most of you people don’t know who I am, suffice to say that I can help.’ Rilnae began.

‘Fine, help me understand something.’ Shandor interjected.

‘Okay?’ Rilnae said, facing Shandor.

‘Why aren’t we all dead and subsequently, why did you and Ariea lie to me?’

A few of the group exchanged their ‘Huh?’ glances.

‘I was getting to that... Basically, when you hit the portal, it did destabilize the kid’s dimension. It crashed and he died. Therefore, the Seven died and Earth is getting on quite nicely.’

‘That still doesn’t change the fact that we’re meant to be dead.’

‘Some of us aren’t objecting to being alive, though.’ Mihndrid quickly pointed out.

‘Right, right. Okay we didn’t really know what would happen when you went through the portal. We just assumed that you would die with the dimension.’

‘Cheerful.’ Varadrion complained.

Rilnae ignored this interruption, ‘But, you got flung away. Fortunately, you ended up in the same dimension.’

‘How come months have passed?’ Silvan burst out.

‘Okay, this takes some explaining, so if people could *stop* interrupting me, that would help.’

Silvan immediately blushed, backed next to the wall and went quiet.

‘Earth is a rather unique dimension in the sense that nearly none of the rules that govern the other dimensions apply to it. For instance, it’s on a completely different time scale. One day on Earth could be a few months, or a few years on the different dimensions. This dimension’s timescale is slightly quicker, that’s why Shandor has been here a year and he only jumped into the portal roughly ten minutes before most of you.’

‘So what do we do now?’ Rue asked.

‘This charming little dimension is in a different dimensional pocket than Earth.’

‘You’re using big words again.’ Shandor stated.

‘Right... never mind the dimensional pocket thing, I’ll explain that some other day. Suffice to say: by going through the right portals and dimensions, we can get back to Earth. Oh, one final thing, the dimension that the kid was in collapsed, right? Well, it destroyed the kid who was a very powerful being. Subsequently, the entire universe went a bit... iffy. It shouldn’t cause any trouble, but it is just something to be aware of.’

‘Great, we screwed up the universe.’ Varadrion mumbled.

‘If it makes you feel better, Earth was unaffected. Oh, and if it makes me feel better, I can now kick you, so stop whining.’

‘So... lets go.’ Rue said, ‘Pop open a portal or something.’

‘Isn’t quite as easy as that, I have to find the suitable conduit first. It’ll take a few minutes.’

‘We still need a leader.’ Mihndrid pointed out.

‘How about Shandor?’ Silvan squeaked from the wall.

Shandor looked at the group and shook his head.

‘How can you say no?’ Rue frowned.

‘Technically, I shook my head. I didn’t say anything.’

That slap-Shandor feeling was rising in the group.

‘We need a leader, and you have the experience.’ Santhorpe reasoned.

‘Quite an experience I’ve had too, and I’ve had enough. Good luck to you and all that, I’ll just be sitting here for the rest of my days.’

Rilnae took a moment from finding the conduit to smack Shandor again. She then turned away from the group and performed some quite humorous hand movements that the group could only assume helped find the conduit.

‘Knock that off!’ Shandor grumbled.

‘Seriously Shandor, put on your leadership hat, or boots, or whatever, ‘cause you’re our leader.’

Shandor sighed theatrically again. He stood in silence for well over a minute before saying slowly, ‘If, and only *if*, I become leader again... I want a bigger pay rise.’

‘Sure, we’ll pay you twenty percent more of the zero you’re getting now.’ Rue smirked. ‘Anyway, you have to come because we have to find out what on Tarkna Sarah was doing at the battle.’

‘Sarah?’

‘Yeah, she showed up and kicked Richard’s ass.’ Rue beamed proudly, unaware that when she had spotted Sarah on the ground, she was dead.

‘Er guys?’ Rilnae said, turning to face them. ‘I think I’ve found something.’

‘Good, where does it go?’

‘I’m not sure...’

‘That’s useful.’ Varadrion complained once more.

Rilnae kicked him in the shin before saying, ‘It leads to a rather small dimension, but I can get you from there to another one. Hopefully.’

‘Okay, lets get this party started.’ Rue smiled.

Shandor rolled his eyes.

Varadrion complained.

Mihndrid just looked at Rilnae expectantly.

Silvan wished that he had become a florist instead of a hero.

Alril watched in wonder.

Kalypse munched a cherry.

Lesharn clutched his lute nervously.

Santhorpe waited.

Shivayon smirked at Shandor.

Cyria glanced at the group, then at Rilnae.

Rilnae got the party started.

A swirling mass of blue-white energy distorted the back wall. Rilnae smiled, ‘There you go.’

‘Here we go.’ Shandor confirmed under his breath as he forced someone else to go first.

Silvan was rather rudely forced into the portal. The others quickly followed.

‘This should be fun...’ Rilnae commented dryly as the portal closed.