Chapter XXII - Denouement

Author's Comment

The finale, it's been, dare I say it, an even whackier ride than previous 'Quest's, but now's time to get back to IRC.



Music: Guano Apes/Barenaked Ladies, R.E.M., Elvis Presley



Chapter XXIII – Nexus


"I fell down with no one there to catch me from falling
Then she came 'round
And only her tenderness stopped me from bawling my eyes out
I'm OK, and that's why
Her life in a nutshell."
~ Barenaked Ladies, 'Life, In a Nutshell'




Shandor checked to see if his jaw was still attached. It was.

Silvan’s foot had been connected to Silvan’s body, which currently lay on top of the elf.

The others had then collapsed onto Silvan and Shandor was becoming gradually more two-dimensional.

The pile wobbled and fell apart.

‘This doesn’t look like home.’ Alril commented.

Santhorpe nodded, ‘It looks like the area after we jumped into the first portal.’

‘We’re not going to get lost again, are we?’ Silvan squeaked.

‘I don’t want to go to hell again.’ Brantax whispered to himself.

‘Everyone relax,’ Mihndrid said, ‘We’re altogether, none of us have been ripped apart and nothing bad is happening.’

‘She’s right,’ Shandor replied, ‘We’re about to die.’

‘Yes, thank you, Shandor.’ Mihndrid rolled her eyes.

‘Rilnae will be here soon.’ Faelnon said.

‘Where’s Faindil?’ Silvan asked.

‘What?’

‘Faindil, he was going to follow through but the portal’s closed.’

‘Maybe something did go wrong.’ Foilae suggested, ‘That’s why he didn’t follow.’

‘Maybe this is home,’ Lesharn said sadly, ‘I mean, we didn’t… when we jumped in, to destroy the dragons, maybe it did all this.’

A few of the the others exchanged glances.

‘Rilnae is safe, the Central Nexus is impenetrable,’ Kath’elftras said airily, watching the changing crackling in the ‘sky’, ‘We know, then, that if something has gone wrong, that she will be trying to fix it and contact us. If she doesn’t, we may suppose two things, one: we are in an area that Rilnae cannot contact, this is unlikely do to the power of the ‘Nexus. Two: this is your home.

‘One thing you still have not accounted for is where is Graxlin?’

The others looked about.

‘He was with us in the ‘Nexus.’ Mihndrid said.

‘Did anyone see him enter the portal?’ Shandor asked.

‘No,’ Foilae said, ‘But I don’t remember seeing him before we went.’

‘So now we have another mystery. Where did he go?’

‘I did not think of him before,’ Kath’elftras said slowly, ‘Why did he want to go to your world? He is a bloodmage who was in Tarkna – for crimes unknown – and he has portal capabilities before we reached the ‘Nexus. Why did he want to go with you?’

‘I-I never heard him say he wanted to go with us.’ Rue said.

‘I remember he asked me how Rilnae was controlling the portals in Tarkna.’ Kalypse added.

‘He seemed a little, er, power-happy.’ Isondil added.

‘Fantastic,’ Shandor grumbled, ‘We led an evil, power-hungry bloodmage from Tarkna to the source of one of the most powerful things in the universe.’

‘Some would call you stupid.’ Kath’elftras said.

‘How come you didn’t point this out to us, then?’ Cyria asked angrily.

‘I did not release that what I experienced was the atmospheric effects of a portal. It only after the Joining, and when I encountered another portal, that it occurred to me.’

‘Too late,’ Rue complained.

‘Now what?’ Shivayon asked.

‘We… wait.’ Shandor replied slowly, ‘I guess.’

Rilnae appeared, with slumped shoulders and a grim look.

‘Rilnae!’ Faelnon said gleefully.

‘You have to be careful, we think-‘

‘Rilnae, What’s wrong?’

‘It’s… There was an error, something was draining portal power.’

‘Graxlin.’ Isondil said darkly.

‘He… I couldn’t stop him, he… just went.’ Rilnae continued muttering, to herself if anyone.

‘Don’t worry, we’ll catch him and make him pay.’ Rue said.

Rilnae looked slightly confused, vaguely hearing Rue.

‘She isn’t talking about Graxlin.’ Foilae muttered.

Rilnae looked at Foilae.

‘Faindil.’

The others fell quiet.

‘He… expelled his energy into the portal, to… to keep you safe.’

The Narrator would like to point out that the group now owe their life to Faindil. He would point it out, but it would likely cause mass suicide.

Rilnae relaxed for a moment, ‘Are you guys okay?’

‘Yes, we’re good. But where are we?’

Rilnae pushed Faindil out of her mind and concentrated on her task, ‘An artificial ground next to earth. You’ll be home in a few minutes.

The group, despite the sad fate of Faindil [who, let’s face it, was only loved by Rue] were over joyous at the news.

‘Shandor,’ Rilnae said, ‘Could I have a word?’

Shandor nodded and shuffled over to her.

‘I thought you would want to know that, er, this area also has a portal, it’ll take you to Ariea. She’s in a heaven dimension.’

Shandor fell still.

From the group, he heard, ‘I’ll miss his [boring] eyes the most.’



Ka’eil skidded into the main hall. Two guards were rushing towards him (though their intention had been the stairs). He flipped over the closest and ran towards the locked main door.

A key turned and the door opened a bit. A head poked through.

Ka’eil leapt, planted both feet on the door and knocked the newest guard unconscious. He hauled open the door and fled into the night air.



It was white.

Very white.

Rather non-descript, really. There was some white there, here, and a healthy dollop of white over there.

‘Shandor?’

The elf snapped around.

She was as beautiful as ever.

Her familiar golden hair cascaded down her head and shoulders like a waterfall of sunlight.

She wore white, but it seemed to be the popular thing to do.

His view trailed and met her enthralling emerald eyes.

He opened his mouth to say something, but all he could think of made no sense.

The Narrator agreed, ‘Would you like a glowing fish.’ Isn’t the best opening line.

‘You… good?’ Shandor finally got out, frowned, and hoped it would go back in.

‘I’m fine, you?’ Ariea replied, equally unsure what to say.

‘I’m… fine. Travelling a bit.’

‘Ah. How are the group?’

‘They’re… fine.’

Rilnae appeared, ‘Guys, as entertaining as this truly is, I need to let you know: the portal between this place and the group is going to close in under an hour. I can’t control it. If you stay here, I can’t get you home. I don’t know when the next portal will open.’

‘Okay then,’ Shandor said, clasping Ariea’s hand – silky smooth as ever – ‘Let’s get out of here.’

‘Shandor… I … I can’t.’ Ariea said slowly.

Shandor’s brain didn’t comprehend what Ariea was saying and went with the closest interpretation, ‘Portals are very safe, don’t worry.’

Ariea looked away, whispering, ‘No, I can’t.’

Shandor blinked and stood stupidly.

‘I can’t leave.’

‘Then I’ll stay.’ Shandor said suddenly.

‘No, Shandor,’ Ariea said quietly, ‘I can’t let you do that. You have your life.’

‘I’ve lived a nice long time, died a few times, I’m ready.’ Shandor paused, ‘And what about your life, aren’t you entitled to-‘

‘Shandor, please you have to stay with them.’ Ariea squeaked. ‘Protect them, they’re home, but they still need help.’

‘Ariea, the group can take care of themselves.’

Ariea went to say something, Rilnae flashed her a look.

‘What aren’t you-‘

‘Shandor, Ariea will still be with you in your world, and will be waiting for you in this one.’

Shandor was getting annoyed at the evasions, ‘What aren’t you telling me?’

Ariea looked at Rilnae, no-one moved.

‘Death is coming.’ Ariea said, ‘Coming for the group. He’s on a power-high after draining Graxlin with his scythe. You need to help them. But by the time it is over, the portal will be closed.’

Shandor looked to Rilnae, who nodded, ‘Then just get the group home.’

‘That won’t help, he is hunting them to finish what he never could. And he wants you.’ Rilnae explained.

‘But,’ Shandor looked at Ariea pleadingly, ‘You’re here, you’re really here. If I touch you, you’re real. I … I’ve been gone so long, I…’

Words failed.

‘…I just got you back.’

The words seemed frighteningly like the last time he lost her, and he couldn’t do it again.

‘Come on,’ Shandor added with increasing desperation, ‘Haven’t we already done this dance? Last time I chose others. This time I get to choose you.’

‘Shandor-‘

‘When I was in Tarkna – the first time – I always knew you were there, trying to save me. Last time… last time I lost you. I lost all of you, I thought you were a figment of a diseased imagination, but I see you’re real now. I don’t want to go back to faded memories.’

Ariea looked at Shandor for a long moment before bower her head, ‘When you went to Tarkna, I was trying to save you. The group are on the edge of hell, I need you to save them.’

Shandor said nothing.

‘You’re different, Shandor, different from Ka’eil, Siae, Death or anyone else, you can help the group and you know you should.’

‘When I died,’ Shandor whispered, ‘I went down there. If I leave you now, die now, die in a year, ten, a hundred, I will go… there. Again, and I’ll never see you again. Tell me that’s worth living.’

Ariea kissed him gently, ‘I will always find you, and I’ll always be trying to save you.’

Shandor stared into her eyes and lost himself in dreams. Children, a nice home, a senile old pair wandering in the forest everyday.

In her eyes he also saw the person he was, is now, and might become.

She was right. Many have said it is impossible to argue with a woman, and they’re right. She’s right. She will forever be right.

Shandor nodded slowly and continued watching her eyes as the white disappeared.



"But I don't tend to worry 'bout the things that other people say
And I'm learning that I wouldn't want it any other way
Call me crazy but it really doesn't matter
All that matters to me is she."

~ Barenaked Ladies, 'Life, In a Nutshell'



The group were waiting. The portal to Earth flickered in the background, they would be home soon, they were going home as one of the most dysfunctional families in the universe, but the old dictum still applied, ‘family is family,’ and they were.

Shandor appeared. He looked sadly at them, true to form, the rag-tag rabble looked like they had been through hell and back. Repeatedly.

They had nearly no weapons. Violence couldn’t solve this fight.

‘Boss, there’s 16 minutes until the heaven-portal closes.’ Rilnae whispered.

Shandor nodded, he turned to the group and said with mock authority, ‘Ladies, gentlemen, household pets and Isondil,’

The group looked at him.

He looked at a sea of mopey, depressed faces, ‘Before we return home, there is something important you should know.’

‘Oh great,’ Mihndrid muttered sarcastically.

‘About me.’ Shandor clarified.

‘If he’s gay and Faely isn’t, I give up on reading signs.’ Rue stated.

Faelnon looked at her and gave her a ‘what the hell are you talking about?’ look.

‘Well, there was one- , er, another story for another time. The things is… the problem is, well,’ he paused for a second, ‘I can’t go with you.’

Rilnae promptly slapped him, ‘After all Ariea said, damn you, you bloody daft elf.’

‘No, it’s not that,’ Shandor rubbed his cheek, ‘That hurt by the way, I’m just letting it slide. It’s about who I am.’

Faelnon nodded in recognition of the topic.

‘Are you sure you’re not coming out?’ Rue asked.

‘The thing is, er, I’m… well, I’m Ka’eil.’

Rilnae looked at him and blinked.

Faelnon and Foilae made no reaction.

Mihndrid drew the melted stub of her flute, looked at it hopelessly and replaced it.

Santhorpe wondered who Ka’eil was.

Kath’elftras hissed.

Lesharn nearly dropped his last scrap of food.

Kalypse gave Ka’eil half a chance. To fall over and start twitching.

Shivayon rather wished they’d just hurry up and go home.

Silvan and Brantax stood stunned.

Isondil aimed his bow at Ka’eil, then decided an arrow would be a good addition.

Alril squeaked.

Cyria just looked.

Rue asked bluntly, ‘Are you gay? Being opposite twin and whatnot?’

Ka’eil looked at them, ‘Okay, first, what’s wrong with Rue? This is getting obsessive. Secondly, I’m not ‘Ka’eil’ Ka’eil, but I am ‘Ka’eil’, okay?’

‘Wow, that made an impressive amount of no logic. Good job.’ Mihndrid said.

Shandor went to continue.

‘Wait a minute, Shandor, we already know that you’re Ka’eil, or used to be, or whatever.’

‘No, you misunderstand, I am Ka’eil, Death and I am Siae.’

‘… But not gay?’

‘Rue!’

‘Sorry, sorry, continue.’

Shandor coughed and went into story mode, ‘A long, long time ago, there was a guy called Ka’eil. Mean bastard, a thief by trade.

‘One night, he broke into a rich lord’s house, trying to steal a manuscript. When he fled, he knocked over the lady of the manor. They fell down some stairs and she died. He got outside…’



Ka’eil was sprinting through the dark woods outside the manor. If he could get to the town, he’d be safe.

The woods ended. A dozen metres separated him and freedom.

He ran.

He fell.

A spear protruded from his chest, as he fell, it twisted and fragmented into him.



‘… He died and went to Tarkna. After hundreds of millennia, he worked his way up the ranks in Tarkna, bested the Master and made a deal with the Council…’



Graxlin walked towards him, ‘You know, Ka’eil, your escapades in Tarkna intrigued me. The rest of the Council do not agree, but I think you hold tremendous potential. So here is the deal, I will let you leave Tarkna and put you on Earth, a pitiful little place, like your old world. Whenever you die, you will be reborn. I do this as I may need your service, or assistance, in some distant future. If the Council know of your new ability, they will try to kill you, anyone who is with you, and myself.’



‘… And so he lived, and then he died, then he came back. But then there was a difference: voices. At first he thought he was going mad, then a whole separate personality appeared.

‘When he died again, two identical people were born, but neither was Ka'eil, the only had fragments of his personality. Periodically, he would re-emerge.

‘They were quite talented magicians, the two new people. Then, eventually, they died. And were reborn, as well as a third person, who still wasn’t Ka’eil.

‘The third person was even better at magic and ‘supernatural’ abilities than the last two. Then those three died, and four were born again and so on and so forth until it hit a peak when two new people were born. They would become known as Death and Siae…’



Shandor launched into his storyteller mode, ‘You see, a long time ago, in a town quite far away, was born a boy. This boy was very normal, as little boys go, then, when he became older, he noticed something. And I can’t really tell this in any majestic way: he could change his form. He was a doppelganger. Presumably a mishap at birth – one can never tell with these things. In any case, he became known for pranks and amusement. A joyous mirth in his heart, but then – for every story must have a ‘but’ – the others realised what a little freak he was. They feared him, despised him. Oh, the poor little freak didn’t know what to do. Then he came, he seemed a kindly old man, a mage. He offered to take the little freak away and cure him... Only, this kindly old man was not so kindly after all. He chained the little freak up, didn’t he? Granted, he was trying to cure you, but not after some experiments to see how a little freak like you could become a little freak like you... One day, during the experiments a minor mishap occurred to the little freak. You see, he rather rudely chose to suffer from a mild case of death. That really was rather rude of you, keeling over when the nice mage was trying to help you... Still, we skip ahead in our tale. The little freak had just died. But he seemed to have a little difficulty staying dead, which is rather a nuisance. The funeral must have been a shocker, no? Anywho, this little freak was changed now. Try as he might, he couldn’t take the form of people who were alive, but instead, he took the form of those who were dead.'



‘… Siae could take the form of the living, and Death the dead. The perfect yin and yang. Here is where the trouble started. Death hand an over-healthy doze of Ka’eil

‘s personality, and he thought that only he should be the real one. He crafted his scythe to drain a person’s essence. He hoped that this would destroy them permanently, while giving the power to himself.

‘After Death and Siae, the cycle reset and the less powerful people appeared, including yours truly.

‘The problem now is that you are all in danger. Death has killed Siae, Ka’eil is dead along with all the other personalities. If he kills me, he will be ‘complete’, and he’ll probably kill you for laughs. So there you have it, my story.’

The group just stared. And blinked, and were the option available, they would be holding banners reading, ‘What the Hell?’

‘Boss,’ Rilnae said, ‘The heaven portal will close in 7 minutes.’

‘Shandor… you’re kidding, right? That is overwhelmingly screwed up.’

‘No, the overwhelmingly screwed up thing is that Ka’eil the First suggested putting a dragon under the Tilkhurg giant to some Gnomes, and they thought it was a good idea. That’s one of the reasons I tried to stop the dragons.’

The Narrator wondered if this world had a Jerry Springer. He then wondered if Jerry could even handle this.

‘Now, get through the portal.’

‘Wait, none of that explained why you can’t come with us.’

‘Because, after leaving Earth, via unnatural devices, we can’t get back in. Unnatural devices, like flinging oneself through a portal to kill some dragons.’ Shandor took a breath, ‘Now get going.’

‘Boss, there’s a disturbance in the air.’ Rilnae pointed out.

‘It is time for you to go. Now.’ Shandor barked, he shoved some of them towards the portal. Lesharn, Alril, Santhorpe and Shivayon disappeared into the vortex.

‘Home is calling, why won’t you go damnit?’ Shandor shouted.

Silvan watched Shandor as Brantax dragged him into the portal.

Cyria, Isondil and Kath'elftras filed out silently.

Kalypse and Foilae disappeared after some persuasion.

The dark – black – robe appeared first, then the scythe became apparent.

‘Shandor,’ Rue said suddenly.

Shandor looked at the dark figure, who was still a bit away.

‘You’re going to get your ass kicked.’ Mihndrid stated simply.

Shandor went to shove her through the portal.

‘I’m going, but Shandor, I want you to know: You are without a doubt the most retarded psycho bitch I’ve ever met.’

Shandor smiled, ‘Thanks.’

‘Keep safe,’ Mihndrid said, disappearing.

‘Shindy, we can’t leave you.’ Rue said, trying to find a weapon, and failing.

‘I’ll be fine.’

‘But-‘

‘Have a good life, Rue.’ Shandor didn’t give her a chance to argue, shoving her into the portal.

Faelnon and Shandor looked at each other.

‘It’s been a fun ride.’ Shandor said, half-smiling.

‘”Interesting”, at least.’ Faelnon smiled in reply. They shook hands.

‘Now, get your ass through that portal and go find a nice wom-… person.’

Faelnon shook his head, nearly laughing. They exchanged a final look.

Faelnon turned and stepped through.

Death looked at Shandor and removed his hood.

‘You don’t look well, Death, maybe a holiday is in order?’

Death wobbled and balanced himself. He took a step forward and was now standing between Shandor and the heaven portal.

Shandor had been doing a silent countdown, he had 2 minutes and 26 seconds to get to that portal.

‘Congratulations, Shandor, that was an impressive amount of total crap.’

‘It’s true.’

‘Not all of it,’ Death said matter-of-factly. After a moment, he said, ‘I’m dying.’

Rilnae looked at him, and said deadpan ‘Oh dear, how awful.’

‘Look, here’s the deal. If I stay here, I can fend you off long enough for this portal to close and you’ll never see Ariea again. The deal is that I take your place. I go with the group, to die in peace. I have the remaining forces of the Council after me, but not ‘Shandor’.’

‘You’re evil.’

‘Exactly, Shandor, don’t even consider the deal.’

‘I’m tired,’ Death said quietly, ‘I’m tired, ill and dying, and I just want to die a simple death. I’ll even pretend that this is a side-effect of going back to Earth when ‘banned’. I can’t believe your group fell for that bit.’

‘Yeah, it was completely ridiculous, still, after all the crap I’ve told ‘em, they just believe anything.’ Shandor weighed up the morality, 59 seconds.

45.

30.

‘Okay,’ Shandor said, at last, ‘But if you do anything to hurt the group, I will find you.’

Rilnae stood incredulous.

Death moved towards Shandor, his clothes imitated Shandor’s and he added a bruise to the forehead.

‘Actually rather handsome.’

‘We are, aren’t we?’ Death coughed and nearly collapsed.

‘Well, me more.’

14.

‘Good bye,’ Death suddenly knocked Shandor backwards with the butt of his scythe.

Rilnae went to stop Death, but was knocked away. He chuckled as he reached the person, he looked over at Shandor trying to scramble to his feet, Death was holding him down with magic. Death smirked darkly, ‘I guess I’m just not a nice person.’

He stepped through.

Shandor leapt to his feet.

‘Haven’t we already done this dance? Last time I chose others. This time I get to choose you.’

6.

Shandor ran at the heaven portal.

‘Shandor! Stop!’ Rilnae screamed. If he entered the portal and it closed while he was in transit, he’d be lost all over again.

3. Shandor neared the portal.

2. Shandor dived at the portal.

1. Shandor reached the portal.

The portal sealed like nothing had happened.

The group were home.

Shandor was… gone.