Chapter IX - Sins of Thyself

Author's Comment

Good morning from a very merry hell-land. Temperatures are unbearably warm, with a small chance of the apocalypse in the afternoon. The traffic report advices avoiding the tower of Death, Pain, Ouchies, and Oh Gawd Why Is That Burning My Eye due to construction work.

Oh yes, and the world is about to come crashing down.



Music: Scrubs Soundtrack/Colin Hay/Mercury Rev



Chapter IX – Sins of Thyself (Devil’s New Suit Saga - Part III)



“Wont it be dull, when we rid ourselves,
Of all these demons haunting us,

To keep us company?”

~ Barenaked Ladies, ‘War On Drugs’



Shandor paused and frowned. He looked at the soldiers holding him, then leant in conspiratorially, ‘Erm,’ he said quietly, as if sparing the Master from embarrassment, ‘I’m… I’m not your son.’

The Master continued to grin, ‘That’s what you thi- no, actually, you’re right, you aren’t.’

A moment of silence.

The Master looked to the side, behind him, and coughed. An aide suddenly realised his duty and stepped forward, whispering into the Master’s ear.

The Master smiled triumphantly and said, ‘But, you were the finest assassin and I treated you like a son.’

‘No you didn’t.’

‘No, no, I didn’t. Who writes this crap?’ the Master sighed, ‘I wouldn’t mind a kid, but the women don’t seem to like me.’

‘Could be the whole “Mass-Murderer, Spawn-of-Satan” aura you have to you.’

‘Really? Oh well, what can you do? It’s only a few minutes’ commute.’

‘Oh, public transport?’

‘No, personal griffin.’

‘Ah… Tarkna has griffins?’

‘We import.’

Shandor nodded with a slight, ‘Ah.’

A few seconds of silence.

‘So… am I like… your prisoner or your tea-partner?’

‘Good point, we should get on with it.’ The Master clapped his hands.

Two guards and someone else came from each side door. The guards dropped the person they were supporting to their knees.

Silvan looked terrified.

The other person was a young child, he looked about ten. His amber eyes flickered between the occupants of the room. His soft, furry tail remained close to himself. His nose was remotely like a feline’s and his ears had a soft, fur tips.

‘Shandor?’ Silvan squeaked. When he had been grabbed he thought he was dead for sure.’

‘Ka’eil,’ the Master said, presenting Shandor with a sword, ‘Pick one.’

‘What?’ Shandor said, looking dubiously at the sword.

‘Pick one. One to die, and one to live. Of course, you can choose your own death, if you wish.’

‘That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard since one of Silvan’s plans.’

Silvan would have objected if it wouldn’t have tipped the scales in the favour of him getting sliced.

‘Come, come, Ka’eil, everything we do is about death and life, who do we grant either to. Who do we take away; who do we leave. It’s your time to pick now.’

‘I’m not going to.’

‘Fine. Guards, kill them all.’ The Master finished, turning away.

‘Wait!’

‘Ah, there’s Ka’eil.’ The Master said hopefully, turning back, ‘Ka’eil never let feelings get in the way of survival. Pick one, the human boy, “your” friend, or an unknown little street urchin that no-one would miss.’

‘I… I can’t.’

‘How disappointing. Guards…’

‘Stop! Look, I can’t pick!’ Shandor whipped the sword from the Master’s still out-stretched hands and brought it down on the Master’s head, shattering the skull.

The Master’s body slumped to the ground.

The cub and Silvan looked hopeful.

The Master reappeared, ‘Did you really think I would give you a real Ta’ra’ka?’

‘Well…’

‘You still have to pick one.’

‘I refuse to.’

‘We’ve been down this path. This time, I’ll kill you. It’s remarkably simple.’

‘No.’

‘Good. Pick one.’

‘I won’t.’

‘It’s simple, pick the urchin.’

The urchin whimpered slightly.

‘Go burn.’ Shandor replied.

‘Your friend, then?’

‘No!’

‘Good, it’s settled – you.’

The guards drew in. A knife was placed at Silvan and the cub’s throats.

Shandor’s head bowed, he finally muttered, ‘Me. Pick me.’

‘Ah, shame. You were the finest. Oh well. Guards…’

‘Wait! I want to be killed on the main balcony.’

‘Ah, Ka’eil, going for a grandiose ending? I like that. Okay.’ The Master motioned for the guards to take Shandor.

Shandor left the room quietly, escorted by the guards.

The Master went to the door, paused, turned and said simply, ‘Kill them.’

Calmly, the Master followed Shandor.

The troop reached the balcony and filed out. Shandor looked around and spotted it. It was a statue of a lizard. Millenia ago, Ka’eil had stood here. He had just returned from a brutal fight with a flame Droxlar and his outfit was… crispy. His hair looked a mess too, but that’s a different story. He had been singing – something that he would never admit to – and a portal had opened up. He saw the group. That was the true reason he couldn’t talk to them, the good money was on the fact that he would kill the group. Well, by fighting the flame Droxlar, he means it was one of the creatures the rebels had amassed. Fools. They had thought Shandor was just a standard Deathie.

The statue was where the portal had opened up.

‘Any final words?’ the Master asked.

‘Oh, you know, a few words of luck.’ And with that, Shandor burst into song, realising how stupid he must look.

The statue was so surprised that its mouth fell open. A great swirling mass formed, flickered and disappeared.

‘Oh… well, that sucked.’ Shandor commented.

The portal suddenly reappeared with such force that the guards, the Master and Shandor were thrown against the black walls behind. This also knocked the statue over the edge of the balcony.



Rue narrowly avoided a statue to the head and thought that they must be getting desperate. The creatures Shandor formed had been slain, but they evened the sides somewhat. And by that, the Narrator means that they are still vastly outnumbered. Hey, these kids need some encouragement.

A blue tendril of portal energy hit one side of the gate. It disappeared and was replaced by a twenty-foot tall being. Oh, and it was on fire. For spits and giggles.



The guards closed in on Silvan. One grabbed the cub from behind. The cub kicked off the ground, flipping over the guard and clamping his hands on the guard’s throat at the same time. His tail wrapped itself around the throat in place of his hands, the cub proceeded to dive forward and performed a nimble handstand, whipping the tail with incredible force. The guard sailed over and crashed into the other. Silvan was too busy trying to get out of there to be freaked out. The two set off away from the bedazzled guards.



‘Oh Shandor,’ Rilnae sighed, ‘I really wished you hadn’t done that.’

Warning claxons wailed in the room as an insane amount of portals in the universe began firing at random. The destruction of the Child had caused big ripples in the universal pond. Shandor didn’t help matters, but that wasn’t anything new. Rilnae stepped off the platform in the spherical room and disappeared. She reappeared somewhere in the tower.



Shandor got to his feet while the others were still out cold and took off into the building.

A tendril of portal energy much like a lightening bolt, blasted through the corridor and changed the floor to grass, and the walls to water.

‘Someone up there has a sense of humour.’ Shandor complained as he was washed down the corridor, and down a flight of stairs.

By the time he had stopped, he only had time to complain bitterly. The Master swept majestically around a corner and struck Shandor on the forehead, crying, ‘Return, Ka’eil!’

Shandor fell away.



‘Rue, we have to retreat!’ Mihndrid hollered over the frantic noise.

Rue knew this to be a statement of fact and not of cowardice. Grugkk’s group wasn’t there, Shandor was down or missing. She nodded firmly and gave the call to retreat. The fire Droxlar threw a few people about randomly.

‘’Fraid there’s a prob wit’ that plan.’ Grugkk smirked. He and Naeolin were blocking the retreat path with a dozen more troops.

At that particular moment, a portal of tendril energy shot out and hit several buildings. A tower groaned and the tip of it callously fell in that manner that only towers know how to do.

Grugkk only had time to look up before he was skewered with the tip of the spike.

Several people were watching the battle fearfully, by this stage. The tower calling caused panic to set in as the people scurried, crying foul words.

Rue turned and charged deeper into the heat of the enemy. Hindsight would tell her what a stupid idea this was, but Hindsight is never around when needed. The main door was too much of a bottle neck to break through.

Then something hit her. Quite literally. An arrow was protruding from her neck.

After she died and reappeared, she realised hat a blessing that arrow had been. It would be easy to climb the ornate walls. She relied this message as best she could. Mihndrid couldn’t work out how bringing church bells would help. The others finally got the gist when Rue sheathed her sword and scaled the walls.



Shandor’s body twitched. His eyes opened and he stood up, slightly surprised, and eerily cheerful.

‘Welcome back, Ka’eil.’ The Master smiled.

‘It’s been far too long.’ Ka’eil replied with a smirk.

‘Shandor’s friends are outside.’ The Master smiled suggestively.

‘Friend’s blood tastes the sweetest. Well, except for family.’ Ka’eil replied coldly.

The Torment of Tarkna moved off with a cruel grin.



Rilnae turned around just in time to have a soldier run right through her. ‘Geez! Thanks a lot.’ She hollered after him.



Ka’eil arrived downstairs a few minutes later clad in his honoured Death-Bringer ensemble. He cocked an eyebrow inquisitively – there were a few troops, lots of corpses, but no group.

‘Shandor!’ a female voice shouted.

Ka’eil turned to Rilnae, ‘Well, well, if it isn’t my brother’s keeper.’

‘O-kay… What have you been drinking?’

‘Nothing… yet. I’m still looking for my friends.’ He sneered.

Rilnae’s eyes twinkled with realisation, she decided to launch with a strong footing, ‘Okay, eel-boy, stop being a turd.’

Ka’eil drew his Ta’ra’ka blade.

‘Yea, yea. You can’t hurt me with that, not her-‘ Rilnae choked, her breath forced out of her and her eyes widened. There was a Ta’ra’ka sticking out of her abdomen.

Ka’eil grinned and removed the blade, ‘Don’t worry, that wound won’t kill.’ He spun on his heel and added as he moved outside, ‘It might do a few other things, though.’

Rilnae convulsed in a sudden wave of burning pain. She collapsed to the floor. Her screams flowed forth like a tumultuous river.

Ka’eil would have rather liked watching her suffer, but he had picked up the group’s scent He breathed deeply in the blood-saturated air and smiled. He jumped to the balcony above while Rilnae’s screams of agony resonated around like sweet music.